Never liked changes...

Hey there bunnies!! I'm back with another post after a super long time and I'm sorry!! Thought I should at least have a update about my 'not so interesting' life haha. So school is starting tomorrow and I don't actually know how to feel about it... After being on holiday for around 5 months, school sounds almost scary. Especially with me going to poly. Poly is indeed really different from secondary school so I'm actually quite worried about how I'm going to fit in, how I'm going to cope, basically how I'm going to survive being out of my comfort zone and away from my girls. I've never been a huge fan of changes. I dislike having to change how I'm living my life and if I'm comfortable I'd really hate for anything to change. Even the slightest thing like changing my phone wallpaper takes me forever. I really have to find something I feel comfortable with before actually changing so usually, I stick to one for a pretty long time. Same goes with my friends, if I'm comfortable with you, I wouldn't need anyone else. I'll just stick to you. I miss being with my girls every single day, hanging out with each other, enjoying each other's company and just being super comfortable with each other. Now, all of us are away from each other. Some went off to tackle Alevels while some took the same route as me, poly. Sadly, none of us are in the same course although we're in the same campus.

Pretty sure when school starts, I'll just miss my girls even more due to obvious reasons :'(. Change is a really scary thing to me. Be it changes in people or just my life, it scares me. It scares me to be able to know someone so well and yet in a split second I can completely not know them any more just because he/she has changed. It just sucks when you can know someone so well and be so attached to them but they just suddenly walk out of your life. I'm sure all of you have experienced such a situation and yes, it sucks but I guess all we can do is suck it up and accept that its life.

Also, I find it difficult to be close to people easily. I may be talkative and whatnot but I still find it very difficult to click with people. Sometimes even girls scare me haha. Going to a whole new school and entering a course and class with people I'm not already close or comfortable with also scares the crap out of me. At the same time, if I don't try to click with people, I'll just be a freaking loner hahaha. So yes, I'm currently trying really hard to make friends, click with people and just make the best out of what I've got. I still remember when I graduated from primary school I felt like my world collapsed. All my close friends went to different secondary schools and I felt like I just didn't fit into my new class. I even cried every night wishing it was all a dream and that I'm still in primary school with my close friends. Now, when I look back, I shouldn't have felt that way because I was just having pity on myself and wasn't living in the moment, appreciating what I already had. It gets better over time, that I'm sure of. It took me quite a long time to get over the fact that I'm really in secondary school and crying doesn't help anything. Only then did I start to actually look around me and make the best friends I could ever ask for.  It was just sad that I took so long to actually realise that.

Well, I guess I've grown from that and trying to make the best out of my next chapter of life. Hopefully 1A/02 will be one of the best classes I've ever been in and I'll have friendships that'll last forever. Cheers to whoever who's also starting school tomorrow and if you're scared, don't worry dear! You can't be more afraid than me HAHA. Also, everything will be fine, promise(;

Till next time!<3

PS: I just created a VSCO account so check it out if you want to?(: rachelluee.vsco.co

Much love,
Rach xoxo