Ever felt...

Hey bunnies(: I don't really have much to blog about due to my EVER BORING LIFE so I'm sorry for having late posts and irregular posts. CAUTION! I think this blog post is gonna be quite emotional so if you're like 'I don't give a shit about all that' you can stop here(: (promise a better post the next time)... I don't know.. it's been kind of a bad time for me this past few weeks. Firstly, we stopped talking. Its so sad that people enter your life mess up your feelings and just leave. LIKE DUDE THANKS A WHOLE LOT. You've just shortened 10years of my life. Leaving me sitting on the fence like that. Making me think what is it that I've done wrong or why are you suddenly acting or behaving that way. Is it my fault? I guess I fell hard REAL HARD. Maybe this day was just waiting to come. Kinda expected it but refused to face it. I guess since we've been texting for so long it kinda got dull. Long before all the shit happened we were texting happily I guess or maybe that's just how I felt... He would always reply so nice so friendly and no late replies that's when I think I fell HARD. After a few months the late replies started and blah blah blah. We started to drift. It was saddening as he could be online on whatsapp and whatever social media platform you can think of and he just can't reply to my text. Hmm so yeah I was sad and angry but I just could not, not reply him whenever he texts. And y'know if your crush texts you, its like you immediately reply. So yeah I immediately reply I swear it took like 1min. But guess what no reply  WHEEE. Its like he replied, and while I was replying he just threw his phone on the floor and ran away. Not till 5-6hours later a reply comes. People would ask me why would I even like a guy like him. I really don't know why either. Its just the feeling right? When I think of all the late replies and etc, I can totally call him an ass or douche  but its the happy times I just can't let go. All those nice texts I would wake up to and just the way he replies its just... The good times are the ones that kill me. I miss the times when his name would just appear on my phone and all those smiley faces or emojis that he'll send. Now? Having his name even appear on my phone as a text is impossible. It's like we've never talked, total complete strangers. He can be over there still living his life not even giving the slightest shit. While I'm just crumbling in a corner. Obviously I'm the one that needs him more than he needs me. " Its sad. When you try to pick up a conversation with someone you haven't talked to in a while and used to be close to, but you notice that they don't make any effort to talk to you and just push you further away to the point where you realized that things have changed and it'd be probably better to let go. People come and go, sadly. Even the ones you thought you'd never lose" <--- TOTALLY SUMS UP EVERYTHING. I've told myself countless times to give up, to move on but its really easier said then done. TIME HEALS. I guess i'll have to leave it up to time to heal the wounds and help me move on. I want to wait for that DAY when I can delete the conversations I've had with him without feeling any pain or sadness. I will just wait for that one day. I swear I get attached too easily and too quickly. But take forever to get over. Yeah pathetic i know. At least its the holidays soon and just pray that i freaking get over it by the time school reopens. And for any of you bunnies going through the same thing or just had your heart broken, we can get through this togetherrrrr!!!((((: Don't let one jerk or one mean girl bring you down. (although that jerk has already brought me down:( ) Its sad, its hard, i know but trust me once you get over him/her it'll feel much better(: If you wanna cry just let it alllllll out!!(: You'll feel better. No use beating yourself up about it. Whats gone is gone. Lift your head up and smile(: You're beautiful. Anyways, thanks for reading my pathetic story hahahaha. If you're upset or sad and need somebody to talk to, just tell me okay?(: I'll be your listening ear(; wink wink. If you're feeling really moody, ice-cream and movies always help!!(: *hugs all of you really tightly*
stay strong!

Love, Rachel 
xoxo